After a series of piss poor relationships ending in perceived tragedy, Jenna sought a solo mission in search of inner peace and independently gained satisfaction. After hearing numerous remarks that she would never be happy with anyone else prior to being happy alone, she followed these pearls of adage spoken by the often-hypocritical observers, and set out to find happiness.
Like the littlest hobo (a Canadian reference few will recall), for imagery sake, the littlest hobo was a German Shepherd that was once a hobo roaming the train tracks of desolate cities, now employed by the police force as someone had finally recognized the skills of this wayward dog, Jenna too had recognized her potential. She freed herself from the shackles of her material belongings, leaving with nothing other than a suitcase and a dream, flying from the icy streets of Alberta to sunny Florida.
The hypocrites were up in arms with her moves, quickly remarking that she was running away from problems that would still be there when the dust settled. But Jenna looked onwards, and deflected the comments at times with spicy retaliation, and at other times with subconscious concern, for what if the people were right? She soon discovered some days there were tears, and other days laughter and excitement. As long as the tears eventually became less of an occurrence than they were present, she would feel she had made the right move.
Once the dust had settled, problems still persisted. But this wasn’t a shock to Jenna, as she had learned that problems are inevitable for anyone. What was important was how she handled them, and how she could manage her decisions to pick better problems when able. She had absorbed coping strategies along the way as if she had known the value of such lessons prior to the requirement of application.When Jenna was fourteen she was friends with a girl with a free spirit and mind, raised by eclectic rock and roll hippies whom regularly experimented with LSD. A by-product of a very unique family system both biologically and organically, Jenna’s friend expressed opinions and thoughts far superior to her teenage counterparts, whom were more concerned with which Revlon lipstick to purchase with their allowance. On one particular occasion, said friend stood on a chair at a backyard party and exclaimed something to the likes of “If I’m sitting down, I can see the yard from one perspective, and if I choose to stand up, then I can see the yard from an entirely different perspective”. This seemed relevant to some of the experiences Jenna had when shifting from the norm. She tried to regularly shift her perspective to something that would better suit her needs, as after all, she had the responsibility to manage her needs and she could choose to look at her problems from any perspective she so desired.
In the beginning there was confusion. Jenna’s mind felt muddled and chaotic. She felt isolated and confused and at times would revert to unhealthy coping strategies. She felt alone floating in a bubble bouncing off of various obstructions. But she persisted, as she had at least developed a belief that this was the only option. Being in the sun helped far more than could have been anticipated, as did being with other like-minded people. For the first time in a long time there were options and choices. She no longer felt tied to any one person or place. While this added to the feeling of floating and bumping into things, it also helped to slowly dissolved the bubble and sent Jenna into a space much larger than she had previously occupied, but much less scary as she could finally see what was around her.
Now Jenna was at a crossroads once again, feeling the familiar feelings associated with what to do next. When Jenna has a partner, which is rare as a result of disliking most relationships, she feels more grounded and sure of staying in one place. When Jenna is single, she prefers to surround herself with other single people as it helps to not feel like the last kid at school to be picked for baseball. In a way it is the maintenance of the Peter Pan complex, never wanting to grow up. There are places that exist to maintain Pan, such as Bali, where people remain childless and single well past their 30’s and 40’s. But for Jenna, she still yearned at times for the comfort of maintaining a more regular lifestyle. She will continue on her path and try to breathe instead of panic that she is still, and may always be a childless spinster, for after all, you never know when your path may change. For now, Jenna will take things day by day, and one day, she may bump into something or someone that sticks.